Make your own free website on


How to tell if you are in canada

Everything is labeled in English and French.
Everything is measured in metric. (No, the temperature does not drop fifty degrees when you cross the border.)
Milk comes in plastic bags as well as in cartons and jugs.
There's hockey gear everywhere. A guy can get onto a bus wearing goalie pads, a helmet -- everything but the skates -- and nobody gives him a second look.
Restaurants serve vinegar with French fries.
There are $1 and $2 coins. The paper currency is in different colors, and it's pretty.
The Trans-Canada Highway -- Canada's analogue to the US Interstates -- is two lanes wide for most of its length. (There are great big huge wide highways around the major cities. The 401 north of Toronto is twelve lanes wide in places.)
There is still the occasional musical variety show on network TV, and such a show that was on until recently was hosted by a very, very large woman.
The most famous evening news anchor is bald and doesn't wear a toupee.